Shes very fussy and wants everything to be the way. The key: be open. Ive recently started feeling anger and rejection towards a close friend because Ive been noticing little by little that her affective insecurity manifests in wanting to know and be part of almost everything, and I feel controlled and slightly manipulated (at an emotional level), and I find that she may be a bit dependent and needy. If you are trying to get back at your partner with this statement, girl, it's more likely he's reading it as you don't want to be with him anymore. This statement is more like writing off a person. It's not only mean and disrespectful, it's got a good-digging ring to it. To learn much, much more about Childhood Emotional Neglect and how it happens plus access the full list of emotion words see the book Running On Empty: Overcome Your Childhood Emotional Neglect. You even sound like you are putting your partner under unnecessary pressure to please you. Ouch. All your advice is helping me so much , i have a better understanding of myself . ui. Thats the first thing I would say, and it wouldnt be because of enthusiasm. There is no sugar-coating this one. She wields it with the precision of a surgeon. Sad Hurtful Quotes "For some reason if we hear 100 praises and one criticism, we focus on that one hurtful thing." Carmen Electra "Words are, of course, the most powerful drug used by mankind." Rudyard Kipling "People say sticks and stones may break your bones, but names can never hurt you, but that's not true. If you want to end up in a womans black book for life, call her fake. If the height of your compliment for a woman is always that shes ok (read: average), youre already doing a good job of hurting her. But using these words means you can't see any good about his presence in the relationship. Welcome! In fact, it has just the opposite effect. Oh no! He told me I was bad and I genuinely believe he was right all those years ago. Id take someone telling me point blank that they hate me over indifference any day. You'll not only judge him with an impaired view; you'll end up hurting and pushing him away. Expressing disappointment in what your partner did is not the worst thing, but directing it at them directly? Did you ever start the relationship with a "manage memo?" When we need to communicate a feeling we are having to another person, or even simply name it for ourselves, it is vital to be able to label it in a subtle and accurate way. "Grief has no expiration date.". Shots fired, man down. This term is homophobic, misogynistic, and all-around derogatory to use on a woman. The entitlement mentality isn't attractive at all. You can get the definition (s) of a word in the list below by tapping the question-mark icon next to it. Ive previously been told I should forgive by someone who has done nothing to validate my feelings, so this is really helpful, thank you. Click to learn more about how this tool works. The first requirement for all forms of communication should be respect. 28. If the relationship isn't working, it might be best for both parties to leave peacefully. "You're too sensitive.". 1. You have to make more money, or I might leave. This is more painful when used during an argument or conversation about things in her life that are obviously important to her. She likes everything to be a certain way. "I feel so bipolar today." 8. While it sometimes feels justifiable to be mean to others that were equally mean to us, it's best to avoid saying what you'll later regret. 36 Romantic . Childhood Emotional Neglect: Happens when your parents do not address, validate, or talk about emotions enough as they raise you. I am interested in your comments to Julie I may be in a similar situation now!!! If you mean to suggest that she has never done anything right before, this phrase covers it. This lack of awareness can affect them in several ways. 21. Rejection is altogether hard to accept sometimes. This one will hurt any guy like a knife, especially if he's into you. I was being held accountable for someone elses choices and the accusations where so unfounded and meant to cut deep to drive me away. If this has happened to you After realizing I was the person that everyone around me always came to for dating advice, I decided to merge this skill with my profession writing. The truth is you just want more help. What's more, the comment subtly brings his parents into it. I would sum those things up as the old adage children are to be seen but not heard. I had to respect the parents wishes. Please include what you were doing when this page came up and the Cloudflare Ray ID found at the bottom of this page. Despite what our parents told us (and despite what we tell our students), words do have the power to hurt! Keep rolling your eyes. For starters, dress the part. It probably can't get meaner. Gonna be thrown away again, very unsafe. When your partner is upset and you brush them off by insisting they're "too sensitive" or "too emotional," you're minimizing their feelings. This would hit harder if the recipient has feelings for you or respects you enough to value your opinion of them. Lol, You dont know what youre talking about., "You're going to make some guy very lucky one day. Looking forward to reading your two CEN books, ordered yesterday. She probably feels different from other people already, calling her weirdo will only upset her and make her withdraw even further. You can help them get better at looking good instead of rubbing it in their face that they don't dress well. This list helps me to sum up what I want to describe, as opposed to sulking about others incorrect perceptions and doing nothing about them. 6. I also struggle with forgiveness. 45. Big deal, that doesn't mean you have to emasculate him. It's the 21st century. Rejecting him by making it about his financial position is not only rude, but it also puts you in a bad place. This is a low-low, especially if she told you stuff about her mom in confidence. Misunderstood. He won't get over it in a hurry. Okay, you know what? Ah, this is just terrible. Well-meaning friends and family have reinforced this idea for the past 30 years. There's almost nothing more hurtful than when the person you love the most doesnt believe what you say. I want to procede with my life without her but am too afraid to do so. I was the one that needed help but no one was there. Hurt, to me, typically triggers a feeling of emptiness. Why would you want to tell your man you can't manage him any further. Oh no. This information hurts in the same way that calling a woman hormonal does. Dear Kira, it is your responsibility to put your own needs first, above everyone elses. 88.99.24.175 Calling a person crazy as an insult still hurts even though we play with the word a lot. I sometimes wonder at the reasons for it but I am not myself sufficiently dishonest to understand it. I dont believe for a minute that you are a bad person, just horrendously neglected and misled and badly treated. Number 9: Sassy. 81. "Weirdo" In 2017 I decided it was about time I started a blog on the topic, and since then more than 2 million people worldwide have read my relationship advice. Breaking it off shouldn't be an opportunity to exchange toxic words. Tell me you didn't say this one in the middle of sex. Well, he's not going to flush them down the drain. 5. Even the highest achiever in the room has moments of self-doubt. So, why don't you just lovingly ask him? To see if he actually likes you take this quick free quiz and we'll let you know if it's worth putting any more time into this guy. Whether it's with your friends or boyfriend, it's a mean way of telling them they should accept your bad attitude the way you are because you will never change. Perhaps, this one came out of your mouth because you expect more from your husband or boyfriend. However, when you go for the "jugular" just because you want to get back at him, that's pretty mean and low. I couldnt trust them. Are you well and truly sick to death with a specific guy? "It was just a joke." 7. Proverbs 12:18 - There is that speaketh like the piercings of a sword: but the tongue of the wise is health. They mean well and are not unkind and just want to help me see things the right way (their way), or to change the subject to pleasantries but the result is that I feel the above feelings I listed. You can do so without making your past love look like a superman. Okay, so you earn more than your partner. How to confront hurtful words. A low self-esteemed guy might always look at himself in the mirror and never feel unlovable for anyone. Again, this statement is an indirect way of saying you don't want to contribute your quota. And a Narcissist with a capitol, N. My life is comparable to Christinas in the film, Mommie Dearest. I felt so validated seeing that film. The labels you put on your feelings matter. "This makes me want to kill myself." 11. You will need to protect yourself better from your mom in order to move forward in the way you deserve. I actually kind of hate myself for even writing the words. You can let the comparison stay in your head. Please do seek a therapist for support and to help you understand whats going on in your life. Reminded me so much of childhood. Find hundreds of additional emotion words in the extensive Emotion Words List in the back of the book Running On Empty: Overcome Your Childhood Emotional Neglect. Thats all you have to say? is the natural reaction that one word elicits in us. In my work with hundreds of CEN adults, I find, more specifically, that an almost inevitable consequence of growing up this way is a low emotional vocabulary. This one will leave him wondering for a long time how many people have a flawed notion about him. A condom could have saved the world your presence. "She's just made a change of address.". Its an online background check and tracker tool. Imagine people calling you that? You must be a rebel! You man has a working mind. Its in my book Running On Empty and is also downloadable on this site under THE BOOK tab. Always telling your partner "it's your fault", is the most hurtful thing to say. It's not a nice thing to say. This is certainly not the worst thing to say to someone. Its just a possibility I wanted to mention for you to think about. Emotional abuse is another type of family violence. Words that make guys feel inadequate are the worst. First, the child with ASD may be less likely to say something encouraging or complimentary to another person. She does things that you dont know about that affect you negatively. You don't want to go there. As a woman, it's hard when you man cheats. Please seek a therapist who is trained in treating sexual abuse and trauma. When you say that in a conversation, that's a message that he's a far cry from what you expect from a man. I protected her, yet no one was there to protect me, so then I feel mad. It's got threats written all over it. They're the kind of people who talk without thinking and hurt others without realizing (at least most of the time). 3 Be Still - 12 Reasons to Trust in God 3.1 #3 Be Still and Trust What God Will Fight For You 3.2 #4 Be Still You Can Trust His Heart 3.3 #5 Be Still and Remember God Has Blessed You 3.4 #6 Be Still Because God Provides 3.5 #7 Be Still Because God Has A Plan . Acknowledging that they try but will never be enough nonetheless makes it even harder to hear. Still, it hurts to hear. The fact that I still feel to blame because I joined in, I didnt scream, I just cried. An argument between couples isn't necessarily about who's correct or wrong. Its a way to call someone aggressive, bossy, unreasonable, or just nasty. I felt omitted, unloved, frightened, abandoned, cast out, unimportant. I feel like Im such a horrible person. This statement shouldn't go out from you to someone you are dating. Aro769: Anyone who ever loved you was wrong. The blast from the past makes it look like your telling him he's now a shadow of himself. I feel as if it is something I should be able to do to help me move forward if nothing else. Heres the link: https://blogs.psychcentral.com/childhood-neglect/2016/03/5-reasons-forgiveness-does-not-work/. Need to check if your brother has been up to no good behind your back? No one enjoys being called dumb, but it not only hurts a girl more coming from a person she likes, it also stays with her for a long time. Nevertheless, people who intentionally choose to hurt another person with their choice of words know the exact impact its going to have. It just looks like that because of the angle you see it from. As I can remember, my father was absent most of the time in my childhood. I hope you enjoy the books Naomi! I'm Michelle Devani and would like to take this opportunity to welcome you to my site. Bruce: YES! But it's also a way of throwing someone's opinion or complaint in the trash like they don't have a say. Unfortunately, it works quite differently for the people on the receiving end. Talk to your loved ones about your feelings and try to socialize more. I'll take all you own if you divorce me. Dear Kim, perhaps you are expecting rejection? You used to look handsome in the past. My money is mine, but your money is ours. One of the most unfair ways to treat your partner is by bringing a third party to your relationship. He makes small, sarcastic comments about you. If you have a guy that helps around the house, try not to be a know-it-all by always making his effort or style look wrong just because it's not your way of doing things. Theres a sickening list of mean things to say to a guy below. Youll need a few of their personal details to get started. Hi Jonice. We do this in order to justify . You are not only saying"I don't want you anymore," but also "nobody will want you.". Unless thats just an English phenomenon and its different in America? We ran some of the words by anti-racism and. Im so sorry to read all this. It sounds like you are telling him you desire someone else. We all deserve some respect from our partners. Both should be OK things to do! You can also try picking on everything she does and making her feel like less of a lady every chance you get. I am so stuck I just dont want to continue. The phrases I feel punished or wounded often best describes how I feel. Even if your presence somehow contributed to his current great status. At this point of time, your frustrated self will start acting up and say things which you don't even mean. She has a small view of the world and doesnt accept ideas outside that view. "You ____ like a girl." 3. Words that hit guys "below the belt" are often hard to forget. Dismissed. In fact, the most successful people in the world had experienced failures before they got their big breaks. 15. Here's the thing, men don't relate nicely with anything that makes them feel inadequate down there. Copyright 2017 - 2022 by LoveDevani.com. 75. 5. Research shows that men feel insecure about their penis size. In my opinion, it's better to stumble over our words or say something awkward while being . ". Probably you, or your kind, but try asking anyway. She doesnt like certain types of people and will never accept them. "It's okay to have bad days because it reminds you how much you love them, and the good days remind you they're right there with you.". Pulling out an "alternative" without caring to know what's up with him is another "punch" where men don't like it. They are so well meaning though and if I confront them it only results in their feeling being hurt which causes me to then have to add guilt and sad to the list. The words at the top of the list are the ones most associated with hurtful, and as you go down the relatedness becomes more slight. Generally people like to ignore feelings and pretend they dont exist. "I don't care" This is a very common phrase for someone to say in a variety of situations, and it is obvious that it can easily offend. While it's okay to stand your ground when your partner is forceful, hearing these words frequently could also mean you don't want to be a team player. Thank you!! Another way of saying youre overreacting, hormonal, a drama queen, etc. "I'm a little OCD." 9. Im quite sure you deserve far better, and even special care and loving treatment above others because of what you have been through. Ouch! They are his family. Let's consider how that might sound: "Wow, we are both really upset. lack, lackadaisical, lacked, lackey, lackeys, lacking, lackluster, lacks, laconic, lag, lagged, lagging, lags, laid-off, lambast, lambaste, lame, lame-duck, lament, lamentable, lamentably, languid, languish, languor, languorous, languorously, lanky, lapse, lapsed, lapses, lascivious, last-ditch, latency, laughable, laughably, laughingstock, Fill that gap with loving, marrying, sleeping with, and you get the same reaction: hurt. A feeling Ive had numerous times throughout my life and the feeling continues. Now, adding a mean comment tour makes it even harder to swallow. You are making a big deal out of nothing. 1. That's not only a slap on his intellect, it's also a sign of being domineering. Best of all, its 100% discreet. 1 Nobody likes you A kid told me this in first grade in front of the teacher. What to Do with Them, Should I Say Happy Birthday to My Ex? It is also emotional abuse to ignore you for long periods of time. They . Okay, he could be tired or not very strong. (21 Things to Consider), 19 Signs You Have a Second Chance at Love with an Ex. Similarly, I do doesnt quite have the effect it should when that word but follows. 7. When this phrase shows up in conversation, it's usually in order to get back at your boyfriend for upsetting you. With this tool, you can connect to the personal devices of your friends and family to snoop on who theyve been communicating with. You want to make sure your message is heard, understood, and acted upon. Powerless. What to Say: Adult: Looks like you're needing to be left alone right now. If he truly drops dead, you could be a suspect. Calling someone prude because their lifestyle doesnt match yours is juvenile but still painful. Very interested in CEN and will be checking back regularly. Theres nothing positive about calling people slow or retarded, male or female. You can start by removing yourself from situations that put you in the same place, if possible. Perhaps, this one came out of your mouth because you expect more from your husband or boyfriend. If you are dating him, I bet it'll take many apologies to get him on the same page with you. 26. Give him a flash of you, i.e., make him work for while you make yourself available only occasionally. It can also help to write the words on a piece of paper and burn it. Frequently throwing this type of statement at him will break his heart and make it difficult for you guys to get better. Useless is a pretty cruel word to use for a person and should be reserved for a government that deserves it. "You're such a drama queen." 10. Menu and widgets. It makes people feel worse because they realize we don't actually care about them! The response was I was ignored,the warmth was not return. Listen, in case you didnt know, I think I speak for all women when I say we hate that line. If he's doing his best, this type of comment will pull him down and push him away. In contrast, if the other person hurt you without just . If it's frequent, you are sending a wrong message into the heart of the receiver. She pretends to be your friend, then shell stab you in the back (do something bad to you after youve started trusting her). This statement is very hurtful. Less heavy words have kept people down mentally. "Uptight." Ouch, that hurts. Next time you feel something painful, look through this list to see which word seems to best describe what you are feeling. Its worse if she likes you, that seemingly harmless information might make her self-conscious for life. On the other hand, telling people they arent female-enough because they dont show feminine care is just as bad. One of my friend's husbands cheated on him. While your man might react badly, you may trigger a jealousy vibe. It relates to rejection and abandonment. Research shows that men like to be the hero in their relationship. Now, I know some phrases might sound harmless to you, but when you are trying to make your man do something for you in a way, don't make it about your ex. Simply post it in a comment on this blog. James 1:26 - If any man among you seem to be . I was lost, confused, infuriated, self-doubting, conflicted, torn, smothered, ignored and never allowed to give voice to how any of this made me feel. He might not be doing it intentionally, so cut him some slacks. Being compared to your ex would hurt her and most likely make her leave you. Both men and women are now pulling resources and money together to make marriages work. 27. He doesnt tidy up and leaves a mess everywhere. This is often used interchangeably with hormonal for women. Dear Melissa, please read my book, Running On Empty No More: Transform Your Relationships. Very interested in this work and will be checking back regularly. 14. 101. This may be the truth, but that doesnt make it easy to hear. Shes not serious and can behave a bit like a child sometimes. It's mean to react to his action with such an insensitive and condescending comment. There's almost no other statement that could sting the heart sharper than "I don't love you anymore." I was told not to feel the way I felt and that my mother just didnt understand me. It's simply about sharing feelings in order to make up and get better. Even if you dont mean permanently, being asked to be left alone by someone you care about can feel harsh. Implying that shes only ever after the money is not nice to hear, especially when she expects better from you. Even more, with someone you never in your wildest dreams thought he could have sex with. While we use this without spiteful intent sometimes, it can also imply that the person is overestimating their worth. How To Deal With A Girl Who Doesn't Know What She Wants? The Pot calling the Kettle black! It's best to do away with comparisons. The second thing is to be sincere. The Americas, the guide points out, is made up of 42 countries. Silenced. Instead, say something nice or nothing at all. Altogether, it's a sensitive comment that you don't want to use frequently. Quite similar to the above. Performance & security by Cloudflare. We have all felt the sting of cruel words at one time or another. Thank you for sharing! Proverbs 15:1 - A soft answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger. Because I didnt hug dad, mum would let me hug her. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. He sees the bad side in everybodys personality and actions. Others can feel that and will oblige. 15. Im writing to ask for advice. Cheating is already a wrong move. Believe it or not, this is not a compliment. "N*gger / N*gga" 5. People change when they get ready. Body-shaming isnt cool whether youre calling someone fat or skinny. Again means youve been keeping a score of her mess-ups. You can't become anything without me. Feel free to drop a comment and share it with your friends. It's very mean to make your partner feel like he's a reminder of your past painful experience. Here are the most savage insults you can say without swearing marineturndlegofiend: Do you realize that people just tolerate you? You have no right to tell a person how to act, FYI. It also minimizes the feelings of another person and communicates that the person is overreacting. She still gets angry about things that happened a long time ago. Hurtful is an adjective and means to cause distress or injury to another's feelings; causing pain or suffering, especially of the mental nature; it can also mean danger to biodiversity. Yes, you can say, Im hurt. Or you can say exactly how you feel and this will make it far more likely that you will be and feel understood. Its just as bad when you come right out and say it. Dont tell her to eat more unless youre deliberately trying to be an ass. But this comment might make him feel like you don't like his look. Is it that time of the month already? and its variants are upsetting because theyre incredibly reductive of women. Likewise, comparing your relationship with another couple who seem to be doing better is a no-no. Chill Out. As normal as failure is, we still feel terrible when it happens to us. 74. She always sees the negative side of things. Reached rock bottom and now say a confident no. Shes not sophisticated. For instance, researchers have found that most cultures have words for seven basic emotions: joy, fear, anger, sadness, disgust, shame and guilt. But when you are invited, go . I keep thinking you can't get any dumber, but then you like to prove me wrong. I was then told by my parents that I had to just accept it, deal with it and tolerate the injustice, discrimination, judgement based on a siblings choices. Judgmental, petty, small, and similar adjectives define men who talk to women like this cause it truly hurts. Thank you for your work. Keep up the good work. Also invisible and squelched which are on your list. Not seeing any advantage of discussing a matter with a guy means he's completely insignificant. And I also understand her obsession with my weight. Eight years later and I remember it just like it was yesterday. 6. 33 likes Like "Strange how mean words can return to ones thoughts, years after they've been callously thrown at you.